Looks Do Deceive

Let me tell you about my partner. He is a tall man, close to one metre 90. He’s quite a big man too, weight-wise, about 85 kilos in his Adam's costume.  So usually he already makes a hefty first impression, but there is more. He used to be a para-commando in the army, blue beret or something, he used to be a kick boxer and was employed as a bouncer at some major clubs.

All in all, not someone to toy with, you could say. Me, on the other hand? Well, I am 1.56 tall (or short), weigh about 50 kilos on a good day and really,  my appearance does not even scare a fly. So, just for my sake picture, the following: big, tall man and short, tiny woman with unpaid phone bill.

As you all may know, an unpaid bill leaves you with a mobile phone that you can just call emergency numbers with. Me, not happy at all. People on the other end of emergency number not happy with me, did not think it was an emergency. (Yeah right, see if I care…)

So, my big, tall man decided to drive down to the phone shop to see what the hell went wrong, pay and get us reconnected. Half an hour later he was back. "Honey, according to them we are all paid up!" Well, excuse me, my phone was as  dead as a door nail and I was now unhappy (understatement). While I grabbed the car keys I mumbled things like "I'll take care of it myself" and "inadequate people in stupid little offices, bloody inconsiderate and legitimate dumb-asses." Walking into the phone store I firmly demanded an explanation of my cut off phone and why nobody wanted to take any money half an hour before so I would have been reconnected by now.

I honestly thought I was being polite . . .  yet direct, stern . . .  yet correct. The other three customers in the shop probably don’t agree with that , but hey, you can’t please everybody. Desperate situations call for desperate measures. Anyway, it seemed there was a bit of a computer problem, I paid and 20 minutes later I was reconnected to the rest of the world.

Two days later my better half got a phone call from said company: "We paid, really," was his first reaction. "I am sorry sir," a sweet voice cooed on the other end. "I am just calling to let you know you can pick up a free new phone at our store in exchange for your built up credit." With a big smile, he grabbed the car keys shouting, "honey, gonna pick out a new phone for you."

One hour later he was back. With a bewildered look on his face, he showed me my new toy. I had to ask him why he looked so baffled and confused. "Nothing really, dear," he quietly mumbled. "It's just that they must have remembered you cause they wanted me to call you to make sure it was ok I was picking up this phone. They even said they didn’t want me to get into trouble with the Mrs! Can you imagine, they didn’t even consider that the contract is in my name!”

We laughed together till tears were streaming down our faces. See, I may be short and tiny, but you can’t toy with me either.