The story burst upon the tourism scene with all the force of a multi-megaton bomb, igniting a media frenzy that spread across the continents like a wildfire in August.

And, it's no wonder; it had all the sordid ingredients of a Die Hard film: sex, violence and revenge . . . all shot on location in a former Cretan fishing village called Malia, which is now a strong contender for the world title of Sin City.

For those who may have been living in a vacuum, here's a recap of one of the latest cases of that dreaded disease called Malia Madness, which, after years of festering, has finally reached epidemic proportions.

(Editors Note: In accordance with Greek law, names, although freely available throughout the world's media, have been omitted to protect the guilty.)

As the events were originally reported, a pretty 26-year-old Iraklion girl, who was visiting Malia for a pleasant evening of entertainment and sight-seeing, apparently viewed something she found quite offensive – so she burned it from her memory.

According to police, the girl, apparently acting in self-defence, set fire to the penis and testicles of a young British tourist in a Malia club after he allegedly waved his genitals at a number of women, and then tried to force one of them to touch him.

Are you gonna drink it or throw it?

The girl, instantly dubbed as a heroine and cheered in public for her actions, has been facing charges of causing bodily injuries to the 23-year-old Briton, and endangering private property.

A police statement at the time said the man took down his trousers in the middle of the club and waved his genitals at a number of girls. He then targeted the young woman, "forcefully fondling" her and asking her to grab his genitals.

She reportedly asked the man to leave her alone but, when he wouldn’t, she poured a glass of Sambuca, a thick, sweet Italian liqueur which is highly flammable, over his testicles and other body parts.

When that also failed to stop his advances, it's alleged the woman took a lighter and set fire to his genitals, the report stated

 
The alleged sexual assailant was hospitalized with second-degree burns and the woman, who apparently acted in "justifiable self-defence," was set free pending trial. "It's about time someone struck back," said a Malia resident. "These drunken British youths have been coming here for years, abusing people and causing millions in damages. This girl shouldn't be tried in court; she should be given a medal, and he should be arrested for sexual assault."

As of this writing, the trial against the Iraklion girl has been set for May, 2010, and the British youth is back home filing long-distance counter charges.

And, now that lawyers are involved on both sides, stories are changing more often than diapers on a baby with diarrhoea. There's a myriad of new reports: "She did this" and "He did that" and etc, etc, etc.

However, almost every one agrees that the real culprits in this, and all the other, criminal acts perpetrated in Malia, are neither the alleged assailant nor victim as stated above, but, in fact, those that have the responsibility to uphold the laws of the lands, and those that bring the tourists to town by advertising cheap drinks and "anything goes" holidays.   

Last month, the British Government urged Greece to ban organised "bar-hopping" tours in Malia and clamp down on doctored drinks to help stop young British tourists from getting into alcohol-related trouble. However, the British government has been impotent in getting its own tourist agencies, the ones that actually organize and advertise the infamous "pub crawls," as they are known in the industry, to stop the practice.  

Since Malia officials and police, as well as the British consulate, have been unable to curb the drunken tourists, there have been rumblings for the past few years about local residents taking some form of vigilante action.

No one knows for sure if the vigilantes have been actually organized yet, but local liquor stores, or kavas, are reporting an unusual run on bottles of Sambuca.