Murphy's Law

Our vacation this year was more important than previous ones, since it would only be for a few days. That’s what made it so special and the time precious. I didn’t want anything happening that would ruin those four days. I "deactivated" my phone, as well as myself! I needed this down time so much.

It is said that if you want something very much, the whole universe conspires so you can get it (actually P. Coellio, said it), but sometimes the exact opposite occurs. When you look forward to something, a black cat wags its tail and everything will go wrong from the very beginning. That’s exactly what happened with my vacation this year.

Have you ever found yourself on a really nice and clean beach in some romantic spot on the south of Crete? A beach full with strange pebbles and shells and waters the colour of the Caribbean? And just at the moment when you believe you are in paradise, you hear voices of screaming children playing around you and your paradise is forever lost as you are pushed back into the annoying reality. 

What is it anyway, with screaming children on the beach and their hysterical moms who make more noise yelling back at their kids?

So, my story takes place in a little, isolated, beachfront village, some kilometres out of Ierapetra, in the middle of July. An ideal place for couples…and for families with lots of screaming children…and their moms!  

So, I'm laying on the beach thinking this is exactly what I had in mind. Then I hear children screaming: "yeah, we're going in the seaaaa," and moms yelling "don't run, wait for us, if I catch you you'll get yours!" And I look up to see two families with two kids each, from two to ten years of age, and one baby in a permanent cry mode.

From that moment I knew my quiet and romantic vacation was so over! Like typical Greek families, they were carrying their entire household to the beach! They fussed loudly about where to put their umbrellas, their chairs, their towels. Then, they turned on the radio to a station with "heavy" songs, then they opened their Tupperware with tons of food inside, and of course, they left their garbage on the beach!  Furthermore, because the adults talked nonstop on their mobiles, the kids decided to get their attention by being even louder. There were screams, howls, violent games and lots of curses right where the surf shyly touched the sand.

"Dear God," I prayed, "make them shut up." But, be careful what you ask!

Because right at this point the parents decide to quiet the kids by screaming things like "don't swear, do you hear us talk like that?" (Mmm…) "Come here right now, you need some suntan oil . . . come here to eat . . . you're in the sun too long . . . don't hit your sister . . . can't you play nice? . . . you are embarrassing me" (who embarrasses whom?).

Well, more or less, that’s how my four vacation days went!

The exact opposite of what I had in mind. And don’t think "what else could happen," because from the second day a gale-10 wind started to blow so we couldn't swim at all; some bug bit me and I was itching everywhere; I couldn’t eat breakfast because my stomach was a mess every morning; the chambermaids came every day while I was sleeping (so of course I had to wake up), and some lady who had a massage every day was constantly sitting next to me at the beach bar smelling of frankincense!

So, I don’t know about the conspiracies of the universe, but I do know Murphy’s Law: “What can go wrong, will go wrong!”