Love means…

After this entire festive climate, the shopping, the gifts, the food and the Christmas lights, we try to adapt to our daily routine, to a monotonous and boring "P. H" (pre-holiday) reality!

Anyway, I experienced a difficult situation during the holidays and through this column, I will try to put my thoughts in line and perhaps understand what precisely happened to me.

Ah, puberty! What I would give for this period of my life to go quickly! Not that I'm not having a good time…on the contrary. But, searching for your persona and learning about yourself through your experiences is plain hell.

Many times we overreact and, in anger, and possibly say things we don't mean. Ugly, bitter things. And the worst is, when you realize your mistake and don't have the courage to apologize. And, maybe you start to speak but the sound doesn't come out.

So, what do you do? Do you write a letter? Do you send an impersonal e-mail? Do you text? Hmm, easy to do but is it worth it? Does it have the same value as admitting your mistake in person and ask for forgiveness? To beg for one more chance, to promise that it won't happen again, ever…to shout from anger about your thoughtlessness and cry, asking forgiveness from some one who only wanted what's best for you? Well, it's something entirely different. And you wish: God if only I could turn back time, I would do so many things differently!  

When you've been wrong, admitting it is a tremendous step. Your ego gets in the way of the truth. And, when your selfishness steps aside, where is your courage? Where is your audacity? Where is the audacity that made you behave so badly? Whether it was a friend, or brother or a parent, your action, or rather your inaction, makes you feel just as bad.

So you wait…for what? For the right moment…but when will that be? So YOU make it happen and especially when you see your parents worry…because you spoke badly to your mother or friend or brother and then you realized you were stupid…and you see the eyes tear and you feel their indignation.

If she loves you, (of course she loves you), she forgives you. Sure she forgives you, but who makes the first step? She waits for you to repent and apologize…but how? You carry inside so much shame for your action that it renders you silent when you meet on the street and you play with your hair or clean your glasses. You hide behind pretexts and you pass by this very important-to-you person because you don't feel this way about just everyone.

I propose therefore, to just close your eyes and do it. Make the decision!

Mom, if you are reading this, I apologize…