Would you like to see my sword?

Dimitris was this 35-year-old guy who lived near my house about ten years ago. He was divorced, lived with his sick-old mother, and had a six-year old boy who lived with his ex… He was a little crazy. I say a little because he was on medication.

When he was just depressed he was harmless. Always ready to cry, stopping me on the street, telling me all of his problems. I forgot to mention that his ex was also crazy and not on medication which made her condition worst than Dimitris'. Needless to say, he always complained about her and I would stand there feeling sorry for him and his poor kid.

When he was in his manic phase…he was frightening and I avoided him when I heard him laughing like a banshee.       

Anyway, one night I was at home, in my pyjamas, when I ran out of bottled water and my boyfriend ran out of cigarettes. So, I went to the kiosk and boom! There was Dimitris crying.

Please God don't let him see me!  I prayed, but God was probably asleep, because Dimitris was already waving at me.

"How nice to see you. Come, I want to talk to you."

Bearing in mind that I was in pyjamas I tried to explain that I couldn't, but he insisted. With the bottle of water in one hand and cigarettes in the other, I cursed my bleeding heart again and followed him down the alley. He opened a door and said: "Come in, this is my house!"

My whole life passed across my eyes. How stupid could I be?

"Well, isn’t your mother sleeping?" I asked him terrified.

"No, she is not here," he said and pushed me inside. Oh God!

"Sit, I want to show you photos," he said as he was opening some yellowed photo albums. "Look, that's me at seventeen.  That’s when I started taking pills! Here is my father, God rest his soul…here is my mother. Here is my kid when he was a baby. Here is my bitchy ex…" 

I looked at the wall clock. I was gone over an hour and no mobile. I stood up saying:  "I really must go!"

"No, don’t leave me alone, there are more photos!"

Damn! I had to do something drastic and leave without pissing him of!

"Listen Dimitri, I'm gone over an hour and my husband will be looking for me." I lied as normal as possible.

"Are you married?" he asked surprised.

"Of course, and trust me you don’t want my husband mad at you!"

 As I was leaving, I heard his voice behind me: "You wanna see my sword?"

There I was, stuck in a horror movie. I turned and saw him holding a long, rusty, old sword. Jesus!

A few minutes later, with my heart ready to explode, I made it back to my house, only to find my boyfriend sleeping.

"How insensitive are you?" I yelled. "I was in the lunatic’s house, watching his sword, gone for almost two hours, and you are sleeping?  Didn't you even worry a little bit?  For God’s sake. I left in my pyjamas!"

When I finished the story, and after he stopped laughing, he said: "Well, I would have just told everyone that you went out for cigarettes and never came back!"

Men are such idiots sometimes! A few days later, I divorced my man.

Maybe Dimitris had done something good for me after all…