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Loss And Bereavement In The Elderly
Losing the people we love, whether unexpectedly or as an inevitable fact
is always a traumatic experience. The loss of an elderly person's companion
is a painful and personal experience. The effort of adapting to a new
reality as well as the difficulties in new decision-makings, often create
serious problems in the body, but mainly in the mental well-being of the
elderly.
Myths and truths concerning bereavement
Myth: The pain will leave faster if you ignore it.
Truth: Hiding or ignoring your pain will make things difficult
in the long run.
Myth: It is important you are strong to face loss.
Truth: Sadness, fear and loneliness are normal reactions. Crying does
not mean weakness. Showing your real sentiments is therapeutic for you and
your loved ones.
Myth: If you do not cry it means that you don't suffer.
Truth: Crying is only one of the sentimental reactions. People who
don't cry experience bereavement just as much but express it differently.
Myth: Bereavement must last for one year.
Truth: There is no time restriction for mourning. Everyone is
different.
Myth: Bereavement resembles a straight line with beginning and end.
Truth: Bereavement resembles a train in an amusement park with many
ups and downs. Someone you meet in the street, a song, an old photograph, an
anniversary, all are capable to bring back a deep sadness. But a phase of
adapting will come next.
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Remember:
Give yourself time to mourn: Men and women need to bring out the sounds
of mourning. To postpone expressing your sentiments will delay and worsen
the bereavement process.
Know that you will experience a variety of sentiments: Reactions
to death can be shock, numbness, anger, pain, despair…and they don't follow
a predetermined order.
Religious and traditional ceremonies help in the bereavement process, and
with a bit of effort you can and should overcome bereavement. But
it's a personal and natural process. No one can rush it.
When you must, you will find strength to take action. Many times,
newly widowed people are confronted with economic and legal matters that
need resolution. Postpone matters that can wait, but try to find the
strength to face those that can't.
Also, you must face your fears. Part of the bereavement process is the
sense of losing control. It is important you remember that actually you have
the strength to cope. You can and will adapt to widowhood.
The stress can affect your health. It's important that progressively you
check your health. Eat right, exercise and report any problems to your
doctor.
Be a volunteer, get involved.
Next month we will deal with the support given to the people that
mourn.
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